Epilogue to the Book
Epilogue: To the Book
In an attempt to break every classic rule of my first college English class, I will now talk to you, the reader, and I will address you as you, though for the sake of flavor and variety I will also address you as Adolf every once in a while to avoid monotony. The purpose of this epilogue as you may or may not know is as all the epilogues in this book. That is to tie up all the loose ends, add even a bit more spice to the stories and just in general give you something more to think about. You’re very smart, I can already tell, for two reasons. One; you are reading this epilogue which says volumes about you as a person and makes me want to deal with you as a person and not just a faceless reader. Two; you have more than likely read this book completely through, which makes me happy, because you know what Adolf; I think this is a very smart book. So now that we have established that you are indeed a smart person let us (just you and me) begin.
Even though this epilogue contains basic similarities to other stories in this book it is different in its content due to the fact that this is the epilogue to the entire book, which caused me to want to do something somewhat different yet similar with it. Let me first tell you a secret that isn’t going to shock you at all. Each story within the confines of this book was written as a completely separate thought. That being said, I will now attempt to convince you that this is in fact untrue, that there is a connection to each story from the last. That is the underlined purpose of this epilogue.
Our first tale begins as close to the beginning of time as I could get without infringing upon the civil liberties of time itself, so naturally, it came first. And as the Atheist Bible comes to a conclusion the human race is being born. Now, the laws of conservation tell us that things don’t just disappear, but you have to remember that these beings made all the rules and were all powerful so the rules really didn’t apply to them all the time. But let us assume that this law affects them at least somewhat and that all the magic power had to go somewhere. In this case I direct you to the cause off all happiness and trouble in the story. You know what that is don’t you Adolf? That’s right; the moon. So let us take the logical step that the moon would then have probably collected all the magic that was lost when the human gods became merely human. This assumption can also lead us to believe that somehow the moon must show that it has this power within it. All right, now that we have that out of the way, I can give you the next step. You know (I’m assuming) of the magic powers of the moon in many classic tales of horror and magic; werewolves and so forth. Well the powers of the moon could be summoned by their old masters if the proper words were used at the proper time. Women seemed to generally be able to harness the power the best and so witches were born. Which, of course, leads us into the Witch’s Truth, where Grathole Goline used these powers to, in a way, resurrect their original use of unleashing unhappiness and revenge. Well that step wasn’t so bad was it? Good, then we can move on. Do you remember the incredibly incorrect notion in this story of a woman being mayor? This phenomenon came about because Mayor Croll’s late husband had been a close personal friend of the King’s. In later years the threat of taking the position away would prompt her to allow James Callis’ spy to use her porch to start the war. So getting to The Operation wasn’t half-bad either. Skipping ahead in time to the epilogue of The Operation you probably remember the clone scandal as it dealt with the citizenship of the clones and how that allowed the government to use clones for many experiments. This allowed one of the greatest tragedies ever to be avoided. That was the tragedy that nearly wiped out the human race as the black plague was released in the end of Pocket Full of Posy. They thought they could stop it whenever they wanted (they being of course; them), and yes you guessed right, they couldn’t. In a desperate attempt to stop it, clones were manufactured with stronger natural antibodies and then injected with a very advanced stage of the plague. Eventually it worked and the anti-body was distributed and the plague was stopped. We’re doing good so far. You recall, that there was at least one election won by Callahan in which he never even left “the room”. This election was almost lost by Callahan, and had it not been for the death of his opponent’s son, as described in Lonely Party, Callahan would have lost that election. Since we’ve gotten that far let’s explore the rest of that party as the evening went on. Well, our town slut partied into the night right up until daybreak. She didn’t manage to get until late in the afternoon and when she got there she discovered that her brother (who had been sharing a house with her) had gone nuts that morning and with no one to help him get a grip on reality, had killed himself. We had our Mid-book breather together after that, but it really has no connection to the rest so we don’t even have to worry about it, so let’s move on shall we Adolf? After the mid-book breather I believe it is important that we ease back into things. So it only takes for me to say that sister was quite upset about the whole thing and sold the house following the death of her brother, to a young woman who was taking care of her mother. Neat huh? Hang on though, because we are going to get fairly complicated once again. Even though it is made painfully obvious at the epilogue of Finally Going Out that our pretty girl just doesn’t get it, I think that you might be able to argue with me that she is at least smart enough to not leave the bodies rotting in her living room. So you might be ready to ask me what she did with the bodies, you are so smart to ask such a question Adolf, because I just happen to have an answer. After she cleaned up, she threw the bodies in her trunk and went off looking for some inspiration as to how to get rid of them. However, she hadn’t eaten yet, and so she pulled into a fast food joint just off the highway. She walked in and saw a whole bunch of people dead (stabbed no less) and thought that this was a pretty good place to leave her bodies. As she pulled away she called the cops and forgot all about it. But at least she got us to Temporary Insanity. What our young friend did not know when she made the call was that it would slow the response time to another call that would come in just after involving a man who had taken several people in a jewelry store hostage and was shooting them left and right. So now you can understand how it is that Tori had enough time to come and get Steve. You remember that during At Any Cost we focused on a woman and her daughter, it was also implied that there was a father and husband waiting back at home for them. What you don’t know is that after he found out about the death of his family, this man was so horrified by the “civility” that he was a part of, that he escaped it by hiding himself far into the center of a deep wood. He couldn’t hunt very well and there wasn’t a lot of edible vegetation so he taught himself to hunt the simplest thing out there; humans. So we’ve gone all the way through A Walk Through The Woods together. Are you holding up ok Adolf? Good because we’re almost done. Remember the letter at the end of A Walk Through the Woods? Well it sat there next to his rotting body for a long time, until a young junior in high school found himself lost and wandered to the house. Inside, the young man found the letter and was appalled, he was so appalled that, without knowing any background (he didn’t have this book to reference), Alvin Sable blamed society and vowed to teach everyone a few lessons in human frailty. As we reached the end of Collect Them All, Sable was still very much in control but our detective wasn’t giving up. As Sable plotted out his next few victims he had decided to target a young priest, however he had to change his plans slightly because soon after, Jim Rodan went to England. But Sable was stubborn and he eventually followed Rodan and Foster followed him. Unfortunately they both arrived at the church on that Wednesday. Rodan was dead and Foster and Sable became the first victims of the gargoyle’s vengeance upon mankind. (Put together the epilogues of Collect Them All and The Three Rules of the Gargoyles and I’m sure that you will find the symbolism in these deaths.) Now, you remember Adolf, that the gargoyles didn’t kill very fast so it took them a while to reach the Americas (they took the long way). In fact it took them so long that it gave time for all the historical events at the beginning of the Atheist Bible to happen. So by the time that the letter was written at the end of The Three Rules of the Gargoyles the atheists in the United Colonies of Canada were among the last humans to ever walk the earth. Though I think the clones on Mars survived, I don’t know, what do you think Adolf?
The End
In an attempt to break every classic rule of my first college English class, I will now talk to you, the reader, and I will address you as you, though for the sake of flavor and variety I will also address you as Adolf every once in a while to avoid monotony. The purpose of this epilogue as you may or may not know is as all the epilogues in this book. That is to tie up all the loose ends, add even a bit more spice to the stories and just in general give you something more to think about. You’re very smart, I can already tell, for two reasons. One; you are reading this epilogue which says volumes about you as a person and makes me want to deal with you as a person and not just a faceless reader. Two; you have more than likely read this book completely through, which makes me happy, because you know what Adolf; I think this is a very smart book. So now that we have established that you are indeed a smart person let us (just you and me) begin.
Even though this epilogue contains basic similarities to other stories in this book it is different in its content due to the fact that this is the epilogue to the entire book, which caused me to want to do something somewhat different yet similar with it. Let me first tell you a secret that isn’t going to shock you at all. Each story within the confines of this book was written as a completely separate thought. That being said, I will now attempt to convince you that this is in fact untrue, that there is a connection to each story from the last. That is the underlined purpose of this epilogue.
Our first tale begins as close to the beginning of time as I could get without infringing upon the civil liberties of time itself, so naturally, it came first. And as the Atheist Bible comes to a conclusion the human race is being born. Now, the laws of conservation tell us that things don’t just disappear, but you have to remember that these beings made all the rules and were all powerful so the rules really didn’t apply to them all the time. But let us assume that this law affects them at least somewhat and that all the magic power had to go somewhere. In this case I direct you to the cause off all happiness and trouble in the story. You know what that is don’t you Adolf? That’s right; the moon. So let us take the logical step that the moon would then have probably collected all the magic that was lost when the human gods became merely human. This assumption can also lead us to believe that somehow the moon must show that it has this power within it. All right, now that we have that out of the way, I can give you the next step. You know (I’m assuming) of the magic powers of the moon in many classic tales of horror and magic; werewolves and so forth. Well the powers of the moon could be summoned by their old masters if the proper words were used at the proper time. Women seemed to generally be able to harness the power the best and so witches were born. Which, of course, leads us into the Witch’s Truth, where Grathole Goline used these powers to, in a way, resurrect their original use of unleashing unhappiness and revenge. Well that step wasn’t so bad was it? Good, then we can move on. Do you remember the incredibly incorrect notion in this story of a woman being mayor? This phenomenon came about because Mayor Croll’s late husband had been a close personal friend of the King’s. In later years the threat of taking the position away would prompt her to allow James Callis’ spy to use her porch to start the war. So getting to The Operation wasn’t half-bad either. Skipping ahead in time to the epilogue of The Operation you probably remember the clone scandal as it dealt with the citizenship of the clones and how that allowed the government to use clones for many experiments. This allowed one of the greatest tragedies ever to be avoided. That was the tragedy that nearly wiped out the human race as the black plague was released in the end of Pocket Full of Posy. They thought they could stop it whenever they wanted (they being of course; them), and yes you guessed right, they couldn’t. In a desperate attempt to stop it, clones were manufactured with stronger natural antibodies and then injected with a very advanced stage of the plague. Eventually it worked and the anti-body was distributed and the plague was stopped. We’re doing good so far. You recall, that there was at least one election won by Callahan in which he never even left “the room”. This election was almost lost by Callahan, and had it not been for the death of his opponent’s son, as described in Lonely Party, Callahan would have lost that election. Since we’ve gotten that far let’s explore the rest of that party as the evening went on. Well, our town slut partied into the night right up until daybreak. She didn’t manage to get until late in the afternoon and when she got there she discovered that her brother (who had been sharing a house with her) had gone nuts that morning and with no one to help him get a grip on reality, had killed himself. We had our Mid-book breather together after that, but it really has no connection to the rest so we don’t even have to worry about it, so let’s move on shall we Adolf? After the mid-book breather I believe it is important that we ease back into things. So it only takes for me to say that sister was quite upset about the whole thing and sold the house following the death of her brother, to a young woman who was taking care of her mother. Neat huh? Hang on though, because we are going to get fairly complicated once again. Even though it is made painfully obvious at the epilogue of Finally Going Out that our pretty girl just doesn’t get it, I think that you might be able to argue with me that she is at least smart enough to not leave the bodies rotting in her living room. So you might be ready to ask me what she did with the bodies, you are so smart to ask such a question Adolf, because I just happen to have an answer. After she cleaned up, she threw the bodies in her trunk and went off looking for some inspiration as to how to get rid of them. However, she hadn’t eaten yet, and so she pulled into a fast food joint just off the highway. She walked in and saw a whole bunch of people dead (stabbed no less) and thought that this was a pretty good place to leave her bodies. As she pulled away she called the cops and forgot all about it. But at least she got us to Temporary Insanity. What our young friend did not know when she made the call was that it would slow the response time to another call that would come in just after involving a man who had taken several people in a jewelry store hostage and was shooting them left and right. So now you can understand how it is that Tori had enough time to come and get Steve. You remember that during At Any Cost we focused on a woman and her daughter, it was also implied that there was a father and husband waiting back at home for them. What you don’t know is that after he found out about the death of his family, this man was so horrified by the “civility” that he was a part of, that he escaped it by hiding himself far into the center of a deep wood. He couldn’t hunt very well and there wasn’t a lot of edible vegetation so he taught himself to hunt the simplest thing out there; humans. So we’ve gone all the way through A Walk Through The Woods together. Are you holding up ok Adolf? Good because we’re almost done. Remember the letter at the end of A Walk Through the Woods? Well it sat there next to his rotting body for a long time, until a young junior in high school found himself lost and wandered to the house. Inside, the young man found the letter and was appalled, he was so appalled that, without knowing any background (he didn’t have this book to reference), Alvin Sable blamed society and vowed to teach everyone a few lessons in human frailty. As we reached the end of Collect Them All, Sable was still very much in control but our detective wasn’t giving up. As Sable plotted out his next few victims he had decided to target a young priest, however he had to change his plans slightly because soon after, Jim Rodan went to England. But Sable was stubborn and he eventually followed Rodan and Foster followed him. Unfortunately they both arrived at the church on that Wednesday. Rodan was dead and Foster and Sable became the first victims of the gargoyle’s vengeance upon mankind. (Put together the epilogues of Collect Them All and The Three Rules of the Gargoyles and I’m sure that you will find the symbolism in these deaths.) Now, you remember Adolf, that the gargoyles didn’t kill very fast so it took them a while to reach the Americas (they took the long way). In fact it took them so long that it gave time for all the historical events at the beginning of the Atheist Bible to happen. So by the time that the letter was written at the end of The Three Rules of the Gargoyles the atheists in the United Colonies of Canada were among the last humans to ever walk the earth. Though I think the clones on Mars survived, I don’t know, what do you think Adolf?
The End
posted by David Fuchs (Greg Goble) @ 10:05 PM
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